Obituary Template for a Grandmother

Getting the generations right

A grandmother sits at the center of a wide family, and the obituary has to hold all of it. The convention is simple even when the family is not. You move outward from her, one ring at a time. Spouse first. Then children, each with their spouse in parentheses. Then grandchildren. Then great-grandchildren. Siblings usually follow, then the wider circle if you want it.

The question that stops most families is whether to name the grandchildren or count them. Here is a fair rule. If there are eight or fewer and everyone agrees on the spelling, name them. If there are more, or if naming some would mean forgetting one, count them. Eleven grandchildren, all counted together, wounds no one. Ten named and one missed can hurt for years.

Whatever you decide, decide it evenly. Do not name three grandchildren and count the rest. Do not name one daughter's children and not another's. The safest obituaries treat each ring of the family the same way all the way around.

How to format the survived by section

The survived by paragraph follows a shape that readers and funeral homes recognize. You do not have to reinvent it. Preceded in death comes first, usually her husband and any children or siblings who died before her. Then the living, in order.

Semicolons separate the rings. Commas hold each ring together. It reads stiffly on its own, but inside an obituary it reads as it should, like a family standing in rows.

Two patterns that work

• Counting pattern. She is survived by her children, Susan (Mark) Petersen, Linda (Tom) Grady, and James (Ann) Whitfield; eleven grandchildren; nineteen great-grandchildren; and her sister, Ruth Hanley.
• Naming pattern. She is survived by her son, Anthony (Denise) Carter; her grandchildren, Jasmine, Andre, Keisha, and Malik; and six great-grandchildren.
• Preceded in death always comes first. She was preceded in death by her husband, Raymond, and her brother, Donald.
• Spouses of children go in parentheses after the child's name. Spouses of grandchildren are usually left out unless the family is small.
• Step-grandchildren and grandchildren are listed together unless the family asks otherwise. In most families, Grandma made no distinction. The obituary should not either.

A fill in the blanks skeleton

Copy this into the writer below and replace what is in brackets. Cut anything that does not fit her. The skeleton is a starting point, not a form to complete.

The skeleton

• [Full name], [age], of [town], died [date] at [place, if you want it named].
• She was born [date] in [place], the daughter of [parents' names].
• She married [spouse] in [year]. [One sentence about their life together.]
• [Two or three sentences about who she was. Her work, her kitchen, her church, her garden, the thing every grandchild remembers.]
• She was preceded in death by [names].
• She is survived by her children, [names with spouses in parentheses]; [number] grandchildren; [number] great-grandchildren; and [siblings or others].
• [Visitation and service details, with dates, times, and places.]
• [Memorial preference, if the family has one.]

A full example, Marjorie

Marjorie Ann Whitfield, 89, of Cedar Falls, Iowa, died peacefully at home on March 4, 2026, with two of her daughters beside her.

She was born June 12, 1936, in Waterloo, the daughter of Harold and Edith Brandt. She married Raymond Whitfield on a cold morning in 1957, and they farmed together outside Cedar Falls for more than forty years. Marjorie kept the books, the garden, and the peace. Her kitchen table seated twelve and often held more.

She was a member of St. John Lutheran Church, where she taught Sunday school for three decades and never once raised her voice. She canned tomatoes into her eighties. She remembered every birthday, usually with a card mailed four days early.

Marjorie was preceded in death by her husband, Raymond, in 2014, and by her brother, Donald. She is survived by her children, Susan (Mark) Petersen of Ames, Linda (Tom) Grady of Cedar Falls, Carol Whitfield of Minneapolis, and James (Ann) Whitfield of Des Moines; eleven grandchildren; nineteen great-grandchildren; and her sister, Ruth Hanley of Waterloo.

The family will receive visitors Friday from 4 to 7 p.m. at Richardson Funeral Home. Services will be held Saturday at 10 a.m. at St. John Lutheran Church, with burial to follow. Memorials may be directed to the church or to the Cedar Falls Public Library, where Marjorie held a card for seventy years.

A full example, Lucille

Lucille Mae Carter, 84, of Montgomery, Alabama, died January 18, 2026, at Baptist Medical Center, surrounded by family in the room and more family in the hallway.

Born October 3, 1941, in Selma, Lucille moved to Montgomery at nineteen and worked thirty-one years as a school cafeteria manager, where a generation of children knew her simply as Miss Lucille. She measured love in second helpings.

She raised two sons largely on her own and never called it hard, though it was. On Sundays she sat in the third pew at Mount Zion AME Church and sang alto a little louder than the hymnal suggested. Her grandchildren learned to cook standing on a chair at her stove, one at a time, each certain they were the favorite.

Lucille was preceded in death by her parents, Elder and Ruth Simmons, and by her son Marcus Carter. She is survived by her son, Anthony (Denise) Carter of Atlanta; her grandchildren, Jasmine, Andre, Keisha, and Malik; six great-grandchildren; and a host of nieces, nephews, and friends who called her Mama Lu.

Funeral services will be held Saturday at 11 a.m. at Mount Zion AME Church, with viewing one hour prior. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you feed somebody who is hungry and tell them Lucille sent you.